Build A Survival Kit
Protecting you and your family is priority #1 here at PanicWatch. That's why we've created this comprehensive shopping list. Be prepared for anything, especially the coming apocalypse and eventual urban rioting and societal meltdown.
These are actual products being sold at actual stores for actual prices. Have you found something that should be on this page? Let us know!
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Professional Bird Flu Kit |
| This box of goodies will protect you from Bird Flu with a chemical suit, goggles, antiseptic hand wipes, and nylon carrying bag! At only $999.00 this is really one of the best deals you're likely to encounter in your entire life. |  $999.00 |
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BioElectric Shield |
| To protect yourself against harmful cellphone and helicopter radiation, wear this brass medallion. In addition to deflecting bad energies away from you, it offers "more energy, greater clarity of thought and better perception." Plus it's on sale! | $244.82 |
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Anthrax Sterilizer |
| At least I think this is an Anthrax sterilizer. Maybe you make Anthrax with it, I don't know. | $1,608.75 |
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Personal EMF Alarm |
| "Carry it with you to alert you when you become exposed to more radiation than you want." Highly recommended for use in airplanes, theaters, and hospitals. | $189.95 |
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Shark Shield |
| Swim around with this plastic tubing trailing behind you to ward off shark attacks. "I can say that 'the shark shield' has saved my life over and over...$600 will put your life in safe hands!" - Adam, Panicwatch reader |
$635.00 |
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Wellness Filter |
| What happens if you shop for a water filter at a place with 'EMF Protection' and 'Alternative therapies' in the Health menu? | $8,950.00 |
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Anti-West Nile Bat Guano |
| Put piles of premium guano around your yard to attract bats, which will eat those West Nile-carrying mosquitos. | $119.95 |
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Biotech Handwashing System |
| Kill germs like E. coli and salmonella using this amazing space-age device. Turns tap water into a potent cleaning solution! No, it's not a bar of soap. | $2,800.00 |
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UFO Detector |
| This essential handheld device comes with several knobs and lights. Future upgrades involve dials and possibly a button. | $135.00 |
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Time Travel Unit |
| Travel into the future or the past to change the course of history with the amazing Hyperdimensional Resonator. Plugs into a normal 110 volt outlet. | $590.00 |
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Eternal Life Foot Braces |
| One of the biggest keys to protecting yourself is living forever. Wearing these toe braces every night will let you do just that. | $94.00 |
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Ghost Hunting Software for Microsoft Windows |
| Aw, why the hell not. | $720.00 |
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